Anxiety

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You know that feeling you get when you're on a rollercoaster about to reach the very top? Well that feeling has been with me for weeks now and it's only getting stronger by the day. It's insane to think that in exactly a week from today, I'll be in a new country starting my new (temporary) life. As of lately, I've been stuck in a rut just at the thought of leaving my family and my home for the first time in my twenty years of life. My anxiety level is through the roof and I feel no where near ready to face it all. Somedays my anxiety is so strong that I almost want to back out of this adventure. Starting out, the idea of this was all so exciting but the reality of it is pretty difficult to take in. When I take a moment and ask myself what's stopping me, it all falls within the categories of fear and staying in what's comfortable and known, but for those same reasons are exactly why I need to go.

Straight out of high school I've always imagined escaping the insincerity I felt was so saturated in my hometown. I imagined being in a beautiful city where the seasons actually change. I imagined using public transportation to get around. I imagined being among faces I didn't know. I imagined trying to assimilate into a different culture. I imagined losing myself and being okay with it. I wanted all this and now that I'm about to have it, I don't know where I stand.

Well, I guess it's time to start living that life I've been imagining.
“If you let your mind talk you out of things that aren’t logical, you’re going to have a very boring life. Because grace isn’t logical. Love isn’t logical. Miracles aren’t logical.”
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